‘Whats it like to recover?’

What’s it like to recover? Beautiful, heartbreaking, soul destroying. It can be a mixture if everything all rolled up together, spinning so fast you can’t distinguish good days. It is yelling at your reflection because you’re bloated, breaking locks to find soap, searching your entire house for scales, crying at your dinner, using bleach as…

The unavoidable bloating- Anorexia recovery.

Fact: People bloat. Fact: It is normal for our stomatch to stretch after a full day of eating. Fact: You’re going to bloat. Even though it is absolutely one hundred percent normal and temporary, it doesn’t make bloating any less 1) Painful  2) Easy  3) Triggering. When you start increasing your calorie intake, you won’t…

A Day of Fear Food

I posted a photo on twitter the other day and said ‘Recovery, take 5’. I had therapy yesterday and something just, well, clicked. We were talking about how long I’ve been in therapy and how at the end of th day it’s up to me. I can’t rely on other people, and I’m going to…

100 positives you will get from eating.

Looking for a sign to actually eat dinner this evening, to take a bite of that pizza or have that second scoop of ice cream? Or breaking a fast or are scared to have breakfast. Hopefully this could help.  Your body deserves nutrients and life. Food does not equal fat. 2000 calories is the calorie…

Rice cakes four ways.

If you know me then you’ll know I’m pretty rubbish at cooking food. Not in the ‘puts salt instead of sugar in’ but in terms of actually eating it. Usually, by the time I’ve finished cooking whatever, I will have overthought it too much and will then feel unable to eat it. I can just…

Am I Sick Enough?

I’ve had a lot going on in the old brain these past few months and I’m just finally getting to grips with the facts that coincide with relapsey periods (I don’t think relapsey is a word but hey). I’m sorry for the lack of posts, and I’m sorry if there are still weeks where there…

Another bundle of dreams

I think, I’ve been missing a really important thing. Particularly over the past few months, there’s been this huge downfall in recovering, eating disorder signs and obsessive behaviour. I got to a point in this unstable situation where I had no real, well, purpose. I withdrew from social events, then felt upset and lonely, everyone,…

Day in the life of an out of school diagnosed anorexic

Day in the life just didn’t seem to fit for today’s blog hence the slightly long winded title. I also am pretty sure I’ve posted a ‘Day in the Life’ blog before, but in reality they just get lost in the sea of ‘A Day in my squeaky clean, sitting in my local cafe for…

I have relapsed

I want to say and warn people that this post could be triggering. Please don’t read any further if you will be triggered by any of this. There is talk of relapse and anorexic behaviour. Stay safe.  Jesus I hoped I’d never write this blog. I’ve been sat here trying to think up a cosy…

The people who save my life. Everyday.

Look at me being all productive and getting two posts out today *takes a bow*. This particular one is so important even though it probably won’t seem it. If you’ve read this title you’re probably either thinking this is a click bait blog where I’m going to be talking about how Clinique skincare saved my…

What I Ate Today – Anorexia Recovery

— I’m going to be honest, my Eating has been going really well – the past weekend I didn’t calorie count and drank a huge Biscoff shake, along with chips and cookie dough and at least 2 Drive Thru dinners. I also finished this huge cookie dessert (it was literally double the size of my…

When have I recovered?

I remember thinking, when I was being referred to therapy, what recovery would be like. In my head, it was a short and eventful road, with a lot of encouraging words. I clearly thought that it was pretty significant when you did recover. In my head, I thought of it as a final therapy session,…