Day in the life of an out of school diagnosed anorexic

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Day in the life just didn’t seem to fit for today’s blog hence the slightly long winded title. I also am pretty sure I’ve posted a ‘Day in the Life’ blog before, but in reality they just get lost in the sea of ‘A Day in my squeaky clean, sitting in my local cafe for five hours and bullet journaling life’. Not that there’s anything wrong with posts like that, as I am obsessed with sitting and being allowed a peak into a slightly different and less, well, my life, sort of day. If you are here for one of those super upbeat and slightly unrelatable posts, then I’m afraid you will probably not find this to be up to your standard. But, I am actually in such a positive mindset today (I’m guessing it could be related to the doubleshot espresso I just had), so I’m going to just dive into this post before the espresso wears off!


Morning! So instead of sitting and recounting details from my day and undoubtedly forgetting fifty percent of it, I would keep my blog nearby, and sit and talk through little points of my day. So, good morning! I’m sitting, armed with a latte, loaded with sweetners, because the taste of dark coffee is really triggering for me (probably doesn’t sound rational, but it is to my brain). It is a cold and windy April morning, which is a nice change from the last few days of mildly warm weather, where every single Brit in site donned a pair of shorts and flip flops and ran round food shops grabbing barebecuing items, while I glanced at the temperature gauge in my car (a reading of 18 degrees, can I add) and said, slightly louder than necessary, that it was Spring, and Britain is obsessed with the slightest glimpse of warmer weather. I’m not a fan of all that stuff, and would choose a cold winter day over a barbecue any time, so the sight of a windy and chilly day is a positive in my head. Along with my latte, a bowl brimming with apple granola and a generous dollop of Biscoff (sounds weird, but don’t judge until you’ve tried it). I have the lingering of a swollen throat, but the boiling water soothes the gunky, disgusting remained symptoms. I sit and attempt to Dutch braid my hair, give up, and throw it into a ponytail, drain the last few drops of latte from one of my hundreds of mugs, and pack everything away in the dishwashe.


I will usually then think about what that particular day entails, whether it’s therapy or homeschool. Today was neither, but I decided to have a few hours of studying, and focused on psychology. I always get the weird looks when I talk about actually voluntarily partaking in studying, but psychology is a subject that I find particularly intriguing, and don’t see studying this particular subject at all a chore. At some point between looking up different longitudinal researching options and writing out symptoms of BPD, I will usually transfer into planning out my day, writing out shopping lists and trying to fit in time for another latte in between.


It’s currently 12:48 pm, and I’m in the process of preparing a ‘Protein bowl’. I’m attempting to recreate the ultimate favourite from an independent little cafe down in London, boiling sweet potato, trying to create spaghetti butternut without actually owning one of those spiralling peelers and checking on the rice literally every two seconds, because I’ve still not been forgiven for actually burning water (no I’m not exaggerating) and ruining a pan last time I decided to boil rice. Deciding to photograph my food has been such a huge help in adding additional bits to my lunches or anything really, because a bowl of rice and onions is not only containing of zero nutritional value, but isn’t exactly blog standard. I take time in preparing lunch when I’m allowed to, as I’m not supposed to have control on what is cooked.


Ive just walked inside to take a break from cleaning our greenhouse – no im not a gardening fanatic – but I was offered a bit of money to dig out a random huge mop and disguise the years worth of dead leaves and pigeon poo. Easy money, you’re probably thinking, but tell me that when you’ve slipped over soapy floors five times and looked out the kitchen window and immediately spotted two birds, shall we say, getting rid of unneeded waste, on your sparkling clean roof. A latte is definitely in order at this point.


2:46 pm, and I’m just packing my bag to catch the bus into town. Throwing in tangled headphones, bus passes, random change (I owned one of the new pound coins for about five seconds the other day) and obviously my IPad. No, this isn’t a usual piece that finds its way into my bag, but I’m heading to a cafe, and photos and blogging will be necessary. I swing my camera, that I can finally use again (Take that obsessive brain) into it, fasten the straps and grab my keys, then shout for my younger sibling, Annie. She appears to have decided that, seconds before we leave, she has to fill in her eyebrows, a procedure that can, I kid you not, take up to forty minutes.


3:30pm and we’re sat in the cafe, the fireplace blaring while everybody around us continues to be convinced that there will be a sunshine breakthrough within the hour. I order a latte, almond milk with a shot of gingerbread syrup, Annie opts for a Cappucino, loaded with chocolate, and sits, hands wrapped tightly around the steaming mug, eyeing the cake on the counter behind us. We sit and talk about practically everything, the latest shoes to what shops we want to venture into within the next hour. It is blissfully quiet, and we laugh at a family sitting purposefully outside, obviously not aware of the temperature drop. Or perhaps they are, but refuse to be controlled by it.


A few hours later, after a fair bit of shopping and watching Annie emerge wearing insane outfits of shorts and cropped hoodies, keeping a smile pinned on my face, knowing it is better not to be negative in these situations, we arrive home. To my dismay, the greenhouse looks practically identical to how it looked yesterday, so I shoot a couple of water bouts onto it, shooing away at least five crows in the space of five minutes. I settle down and edit a few photos from the cafe, scroll through Twitter for about a year, before returning to my psychology studies from earlier. I sit quietly for another hour, research and bullet pointing, drawing pretty graphs, embellishing them with flowers and leaves.


I’ve just sat down with a bowl of pasta, chicken, and veggie sauce, and the cold air outside the dish allowing a ringlet of warm air to form above it. Dinner is a difficult one, so using coping techniques, such as drawing whilst eating (this has been so helpful!) even though I’m terrible at drawing, really does help.


Once the dishes are put away, and Ive finished with any planning or note taking, it is the best time of the week – It is Monday aka KUWTK day. I grab half a pint of ice cream and dollop Biscoff on top, not allowing my brain to overthink it until it has been eaten. I was actually not able to watch KUWTK for a while, because I was really triggered by Kendall each time, usually fasting for the next few days in order to gain her model physique. Now, I am only allowed to watch it under careful watch, and with a snack, which I’m gradually beginning to not care about.


So, I just nearly forgot to finish off this post. I hope you guys have enjoyed this post, it was a bit different, so let me know what you thought. I hope everybody has had a great start to their week.

Stay safe and strong,

Casy.

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