How I deal with the unavoidable ‘Food Guilt’.

It’s anorexias speciality. The ‘why did you just eat that?!’. The ‘you just ruined everything’. It screams at you ‘1000 calories. Did you really just eat 1000 calories?!’. And no matter what you do, the voice doesn’t go anywhere. It gets a bit quieter, but it never leaves.  For me, this is the hardest thing…

This weeks eats. 

Hi to anyone reading. So this past week my food diary has been full of delicious bits and pieces I’ve tried. I’ve been struggling a bit with an increase in calories both psychologically and physically. My tummy really gets punished after a biggish meal. But I’ve tried to keep it up, even thought it is…

‘Snap out of it’

So, take a breath. Now imagine you’re trapped in a small glass box. Your ankles and hands are chained to the interior, big and sturdy iron cables. There is no way out. Now the box starts filling with water, slowly at first, but then very, very quickly. You are attempting banging on the glass, yelling…

The day the monsters visited.

It was early September. My hair was longer and brain lighter. My eyes were full of brightness and a face full of life. My head was full of dreams and aspirations, goals and plans. Nothing phased me too much. I had everything sorted.  I was in the library. The day they visited. Head buried beneath…

A real care day for depressive episodes.

Uh oh – I can guess what you’re imagining this post to be. One of the stereotypical ‘lush baths and diptyque candle’ posts. The squeaky clean posts that label as ‘self-care’.  Don’t get me wrong – I love those types of posts and can spend hours trapped in a place where brushing your teeth is…

Where did I get anorexia? 

Its the first question people ask. ‘When did you get sick?’. ‘Why did you get sick?’. It’s the million dollar question. And it is one that, to this day, I don’t have an answer to. I blame people, and I blame me. But I can’t find a definite answer. I ‘got anorexia’ around pre-teen age….

July loves.

Hi to anyone reading. So July was.. intense. It was a super busy and challenging 31 days. There were lots of highs and lows, but it’s been ok. I did a post like this for May and I read it yesterday and I had totally forgot I’d ever done it! So this is going to…